I've been single for almost 7 years — and that's okay

I’ve been living the single life since 2016 and I can honestly say that it’s been an amazing journey. Here's why we should embrace our ~single era~ and how it's helped me grow into the woman I am.

Feb 22, 2023

Not to sound cliché, but I’ve learned so much about myself while I’ve been single. I’m a completely different person at 29 than I was at 22 and being able to grow independently has been a beautiful experience. Obviously I get lonely sometimes, I get tired of going on first dates, and I hate swiping on dating apps. I see a lot of people from high school getting married and having kids and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want that someday. But at the same time, I trust God’s timing for me. I truly believe that my life is playing out exactly how it’s supposed to.

While I’ve been single, I got a master’s degree, I moved to NYC, I got my dream job, I made incredible lifelong friends, I traveled a ton, I lived with my best friend, I got my own apartment and decorated it exactly how I wanted to, and I’ve had countless incredible adventures and experiences. I’ve strengthened so many relationships in my life — with my family, my friends, and most importantly, myself. I’ve learned what I want in a partner and what I don’t want. I’ve been played, ghosted, and lied to, but I’ve also gained enough confidence in myself to not accept those behaviors.

I’ve also learned how I can be better — as a person, a woman, and a partner. Because I’ve given myself the time and freedom to explore who I am, I will be the best version of myself when I do get into a relationship. And because of that, I refuse to settle for someone who is not willing to give me the same in return.

So, who knows if I’ll meet someone next month, next year, or a couple more years from now. But whenever it is, I will always be thankful for this time I’ve spent being single. So often women are told we have an “expiration date,” whether it be the media telling us we’re not attractive after a certain age or people reminding us of our biological clock (a man literally mentioned that to me on a first date). I know it can be challenging, but it’s all bullshit! Our lives are what we make of them. So I encourage anyone who is in their single era to embrace it. Take yourself on dates, spend weekends with your besties, take trips, do photoshoots, build a business, grow in your career, spend time with your family, dance at nightclubs, read books, flirt with strangers, and most importantly, become the person you want to be.

I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not defined by another person. —Oscar Wilde

Single is no longer a lack of options – but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day Happily and let your Ever After work itself out. —Mandy Hale

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